I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
