watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize