I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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