Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
