your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
