Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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