8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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