Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
