billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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