Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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