where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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