please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
