Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
