I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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