Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can't trust your balls anymore.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
