I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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