You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
