Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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