Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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