Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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