yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize