And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
