idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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