He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
