i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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