worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize