i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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