I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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