you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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