who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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