my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize