dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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