how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Canadian or clown?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?