I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize