1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
