I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Randomize