I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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