What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
