I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
