you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am naked and annoyed.