Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.