It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.