I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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