The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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