Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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