I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
