There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
