I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize