absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
