you guys were way drunker than both of me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
