She's JV to your varsity
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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