I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
