he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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