I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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