I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
