I'm going to jail i love you
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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