I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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