Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
