Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
