it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
