Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
