I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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